A Message from the South

Labor Market Flexibility

Tony Gramsky, Secret Agent

SECRET POLISH FILES REVEAL: GRAMSKY WAS CZARIST SPY!


Warsaw: Recently uncovered files in Warsaw indicate that Tony Gramsky, aka Antonio Gramsci, was sent to Italy by the Czarist Cheka to infiltrate and undermine the Italian Communist Party. Instead of engaging in revolutionary warfare against El Duce, Gramsky sat in his luxurious prison quarters and penned nonsensical notes about "hegemony," "historical blocs" -- all as an excuse to delay the PCI with endless debates.

Gramsky, however, was never told that the Russian monarchy was irretrievably lost and, much as the Japanese soldiers who hid in caves long after WW II was over, he continued to write pseudo-sophisticated analyses of fascism, capitalism, and imperialism. In the files, our sources tell us, are records of his actual feelings about the lower classes: "stupid", "vulgar", "deserving
of their impoverishment." "The reason why we must have divinely selected monarchs, " he scribbled in his secret diary," is because they are the only ones who know shit about anything. And the Czar mixes a mean negroni. And his wife, hoo ha! She is some queen!" And he wrote other stuff like that.

All of this led to the Italian communists becoming the best dressed social democrats in all of Europe, not right away of course, but it still happened! And poor Tony never learned that he was on Mission Impossible. The documents, our well-informed source claimed, were produced by a consultant who had no financial interest in the sale of the papers.

The American Collective in Beijing

washing machine>>maytag repair man

THE AMERICAN WAY: A LAUNDRAMAT IN BEIJING


As an experiment in transferring American collectivism and cooperation to formerly Communist China, USAID is opening a laundramat in Beijing.

"Through this modality," said President Bush, "the Chinese will learn to appreciate the benefits of cooperation and collective work. Spreading American ideals is a top goal of my administration -- and here it is!."

The president of Maytag Washing and Ironing Company smiled his agreement: "In the new century we have espoused the fundamental virtues of Fourierism. Let not the labels of the past eras mask our new look: doing well by doing good!"

The Naturalist

Priceless

Meeting-Fried Brain

Meeting-fried Brain: A New Delicacy

You can do it on the phone! On your laptop! Franz Kafka Augusto Pinochet Toni Morrison Be not afraid! Meet and eat!!

Borrowed from:

Copyright © 2000-2001 Brain-Juice.Com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. email : info@brain-juice.com

Nice belt -- !

Give Us a Kiss, Honey!

Presi

Gerald Ford: What a Guy!

Gerald Ford: What a Guy!

Curt Gentry, in J. Edgar Hoover, The Man and His Secrets (1991), had some things to say about Gerald Ford – This is not a spoof.

“Impressed with a young Republican congressional hopeful in Michigan, the Bureau (FBI) in 1946 arranged support for Gerald Ford, who expressed his thanks in his maiden speech by asking for a pay raise for J. Edgar Hoover.” (p. 384)

“The (Warren) commission member Ford opposed criticizing the FBI for having failed to inform the Secret Service that Oswald was in Dallas and working in a building located on the parade route, but Chairman Warren insisted it go in …” (p. 556)

“… Hoover’s informant on the (Warren) commission was Representative Gerald Ford.” (p. 557)

“Although there was no evidence that (Supreme Court Justice) Douglas had Mafia connections, it could be made to seem that way, and Hoover passed on this information, first to Attorney General Mitchell and later to Congressman Gerald Ford, who would lead the Douglas impeachment fight.” (p. 628) Nixon asked Hoover to pass on the information that an extract of Douglas’s book, Points of Rebellion, had been published in Evergreen Review. Hoover gave the information to Ford, “which he used, but it didn’t help” The 924-page House report cleared Douglas. (pp. 629-630)

When Hale Boggs, Democratic majority leader in the House, called for Hoover’s resignation in 1971, only Gerald Ford stood up to defend him and the FBI. “They are humans, as we are,” quoth Ford. (p. 667)

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Poetry at the Lawrence Farmer's Market, 2006

Sustainable Development Program

The Romney Solution

Romney and Health Insurance

Basing his approach to the crisis in health care
on his father's auto industry experience,

Young Romney, just stepped down as governor
of Massachusetts and setting his sights
on the White House, has come up with a solution:

Make everybody buy insurance!!
Just like a car!!

And if you absolutely can't pay for it,
really can't pay for it,
take the money from schools and roads,
and subsidize the insurance industry

so it can make money while doing good.

What a guy!!

What an insurance industry!!

Acts of Kindness

Poverty Bad for Health

Epidemiological Discovery: Poverty Bad for Health!

Hot off the press!

In 7300 recent studies, epidemiologists have discovered that being poor is lousy for health.

The world class economist, recently deceased Prof. Milton Friedman, speaking at the right hand of God replied, "Duh! What did you think capitalism was about anyway? "

Epidemiologists have also recently pointed out that racism, sexism, war, environmental disasters, shitty health care systems, bad work and/or unemployment also are not so hot for health. They recommend that poor people get more stuff. And maybe some housing.

Barefoot Mohels

USAID has temporarily halted financial support for the Barefoot Mohels Program.

The publication of recent studies of AIDS prevention in the US sparked a new WHO/USAID program to train barefoot mohels, village level health practitioners who could bring circumcision to poverty stricken rural areas.

Just as the new program began recruiting trainees, however, a scandal in New York City halted the program in its tracks.

Apparently religious mohels in NY and elsewhere sucked blood from their baby-patients and in 11 reported cases transmitted herpes to the infants with fatal consequences in some cases.

President Bush commented, "We must stop these baby cock-suckers!" His words have been heard around the world. From his mouth to the ears of God.