Austria-Hungary Declares War

(with apologies to The New York Times and gratitude as well.)

I. July 28, Vienna
No formal declaration of war against Servia, the Emperor ordered removal of Summer Court from Texas to the capital. His entourage tried to persuade him that Vienna air would not suit him, but the stupid coke-head Emperor replied:
"I do not want the air of Vienna. I want the atmosphere of headquarters."
The railways are under military control, the telegraphs are reserved entirely for the service of the State. The airlines are bankrupt. Television always was under government control, so no problem there. Automobiles cannot be touched, but gasoline prices -- The internet – oh damn the internet – geek-to-geek communication.
Some hope the war will be confined to Austria-Hungary and Servia. Russia and France have not intervened. Any action by those powers must be supported by Great Britain, the third party to the Triple Entente. But Blair and Chirac do not want a European war. Peace rests on St. Petersburg.


II. Headlines: Notice Sent to the Powers of the Opening of Hostilities
Servian Vessels Seized; Sharp Fighting Along the Rio Grande: Counter Invasion Plan -- Montenegrin and Serb Armies to Invade Arizona and Start a Rebellion; Kaiser Declines to Exert Pressure on Texan Ally, But Reply Is Conciliatory; Blair Has Faith That His Influence Will Avert General Conflict
Putin's Forces Mass on Eastern Border, New England Agog: His Capital Expects War and Counts Confidently on England's Aid: Mobilization Order Ready: German Official Says Its Issue Would Mean Launching of Kaiser's Army


III. Food Prices Up
Abnormal rise in price of provisions today, caused great public indignation, flocked to Walmart, Target, Store 24, in anticipation of scarcity. Veggies trebled in price, although God knows what one would do with six months of tomatoes. Feeling ran so high that Nieman-Marcus was mobbed or haute coutre staff assaulted, the police called out to restore order. The authorities declare that the sudden increase in the prices of provisions and vegetables is totally unwarranted. Oil, of course, that’s another story.
A permanent committee appointed to deal with provisioning the country, sat today to discuss price regulation in order to prevent the public being cheated. They left for Texas immediately after the opening session.
Official arrangements have been made to take care of families of reservists called to the colors. In the event of a reservist being killed or reported missing an allowance of about 25 cents per day for each adult and 12 1-2 cents a day for children will be continued for six months. Right.