Bloomberg Buys America!

New York, by a special reporter.

Mayor Bloomberg announced to day that rather than run for president his new strategy was to simply buy the United States. "After discussions with Soros, Buffett and Gates, I've decided that if we pool some of our resources, we can simply buy the whole damned place and stop this nonsense of corruption in Florida, Ohio, etc." "The people in Texas think too small," said a Bloomberg spokesman. "Think of all the money we'll save on elections, primaries, campaigns, all that bullshit. It's cost effective!"

Rupert Murdoch refused to answer our calls. He seems to feel that his game of buying all the newspapers in the world, plus television, etc., has been out-classed by the Davos Commies, as the new consortium is called.