Monday, November 26, 2007
Insurance Industry Grants: Not made up!
Insurance Industry Charitable Foundation to Host First
Annual New York City Gala Dinner
Special Guest, Michael R. Bloomberg, Mayor, New York City to
Attend
Foundation to Unveil Three Major Grants Totaling $500,000 to
Tri-State Organizations
WHAT: The Insurance Industry Charitable Foundation will host its
first annual dinner in New York Special guest, Michael
Bloomberg, Mayor, New York City, will join dinner chairman
Martin J. Sullivan, president and CEO of American
International Group, Inc. to honor Brian Duperreault, Former
Chairman & CEO of ACE, Limited. The foundation will award
three major grants to charitable causes in the tri-state area
and expects to raise $1.5 million.
Emcees for the event are CBS 2 Weekend News anchor, Kirsten
Cole and hockey legend, former New York Ranger, Mike Richter
The grantees are:
-- New York City Financial Empowerment Center
-- As part of the City's Center for Economic
Opportunity, the Office of Financial Empowerment
offers free financial advice to New Yorkers.
-- Wounded Warriors Project
-- Raises public awareness and enlists aid for
severely injured service men and women.
-- Riverkeeper
-- Safeguards the ecological integrity of the Hudson
River, its tributaries and the watershed of
New York City
The foundation is funded and directed by insurance
professionals from a broad spectrum of companies within the
industry.
WHEN: December 5, 2007
5:30 p.m. Reception
6:30 p.m. Dinner
WHERE: The Waldorf-Astoria, New York City
RSVP: For media credentials or to RSVP contact
Michelle Shayo
212-819-4891
michelle.shayo@edelman.com
CONTACT: For The Insurance Industry Charitable Foundation
Robin Edwards, 212-704-8148
robin.edwards@edelman.com
or
Michelle Shayo, 212-819-4891
michelle.shayo@edelman.com
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Mushy Busts Bhutto's Butt!
Mushy Busts Bhutto's Butt!
Special from Islamabad
The General, former favorite of the Bush Administration, is having some trouble. So, the Bush Leaguers sent in designated hitter, Benazir Bhutto, to save the day -- but low and behold, Casey would not step away from the bat! Mushy put Bhutto under house arrest and the Bush's are having a shit fit!
All this, by the way, is about the A-bomb's that Pakistan got with the help or at least the blind eye of the Americans! And now, sitting around the country are 60 or so atomic weapons -- mass destruction!! What a giant fuck-up! Who could make up such a story!!!
Special from Islamabad
The General, former favorite of the Bush Administration, is having some trouble. So, the Bush Leaguers sent in designated hitter, Benazir Bhutto, to save the day -- but low and behold, Casey would not step away from the bat! Mushy put Bhutto under house arrest and the Bush's are having a shit fit!
All this, by the way, is about the A-bomb's that Pakistan got with the help or at least the blind eye of the Americans! And now, sitting around the country are 60 or so atomic weapons -- mass destruction!! What a giant fuck-up! Who could make up such a story!!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Mel Brooks Starts Nonprofit Foundation To Save Word 'Schmuck'
*Mel Brooks Starts Nonprofit Foundation To Save Word 'Schmuck'
*
(Sent by a special Chicago correspondent)
November 2, 2007. NEW YORK. Saying he could no longer stand idly by
while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and
Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a nonprofit organization
dedicated to preserving the word "schmuck."
An emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser
Monday.
"Schmuck is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held
in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us,
saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and
see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I
hear only the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake my head and
think, 'I don't want to live in a world like this.'"
The nonprofit, Sch mucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data
from the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on
contemporary "schmuck" usage. According to Brooks, the statistics are
frightening:
Utterances of the word "schmuck" have declined every year since its peak
in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times , 17 of these
times by Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with
a situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult
to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely
to use the word
"jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely to use "dick," and 15,000
times more likely to use "fucking asshole."
Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means,
and only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such
trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2011, such lesser-used terms
as "imbecile," "dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible ne'er-do-well" will
all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely disappear by the
year 2020.
"We must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in
attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!" "How will we be
able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate
manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie' in
2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your
family, your
friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a bunch of schmucks."
Hundreds turned out at a Boca Raton, FL demonstration to show their
support for the dying word.
"I've never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back tears,
"but my father was a schmuck."
The foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to
donations from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert Brooks, the
Schtupp Institute, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI), and the Henny Youngman
Endowment for the Preserva tion o f Schmekel. The money will go toward
projects aimed at reintegrating "schmuck" into the English lexicon,
including billboards and flyers plastered with the word "schmuck," the
upcoming 5K Schlep for Schmuck Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film.
"The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word,"
Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper West
Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch
with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You can be a poor
schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A
group of people can
be collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck,
and you can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck."
"Plus, it's just so fun to say," Brooks added. "Schmuck."
Many of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for
the word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly
disappearing from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act now,
the trend could create a snowball effect.
"Today it's schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS volunteer
Harry Steinbergmann, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz? Schlimazel?"
Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.
Brooks will be appearing at Brooklyn's Francis Scott Key Junior High on
Nov. 12 to give an informal lecture about his experiences using the word
"schmuck," and build grassroots support among a key group of young
Americans by explaining that "schmuck" is a Yiddish term for the
foreskin on the head of a penis. In addition, he has hinted at the
possibility of a reunion with longtime comedy partner Gene Wilder,
during which the two will call each other schmucks.
*
(Sent by a special Chicago correspondent)
November 2, 2007. NEW YORK. Saying he could no longer stand idly by
while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and
Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a nonprofit organization
dedicated to preserving the word "schmuck."
An emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser
Monday.
"Schmuck is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held
in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us,
saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and
see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I
hear only the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake my head and
think, 'I don't want to live in a world like this.'"
The nonprofit, Sch mucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data
from the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on
contemporary "schmuck" usage. According to Brooks, the statistics are
frightening:
Utterances of the word "schmuck" have declined every year since its peak
in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times , 17 of these
times by Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with
a situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult
to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely
to use the word
"jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely to use "dick," and 15,000
times more likely to use "fucking asshole."
Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means,
and only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such
trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2011, such lesser-used terms
as "imbecile," "dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible ne'er-do-well" will
all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely disappear by the
year 2020.
"We must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in
attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!" "How will we be
able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate
manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie' in
2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your
family, your
friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a bunch of schmucks."
Hundreds turned out at a Boca Raton, FL demonstration to show their
support for the dying word.
"I've never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back tears,
"but my father was a schmuck."
The foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to
donations from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert Brooks, the
Schtupp Institute, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI), and the Henny Youngman
Endowment for the Preserva tion o f Schmekel. The money will go toward
projects aimed at reintegrating "schmuck" into the English lexicon,
including billboards and flyers plastered with the word "schmuck," the
upcoming 5K Schlep for Schmuck Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film.
"The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word,"
Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper West
Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch
with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You can be a poor
schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A
group of people can
be collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck,
and you can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck."
"Plus, it's just so fun to say," Brooks added. "Schmuck."
Many of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for
the word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly
disappearing from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act now,
the trend could create a snowball effect.
"Today it's schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS volunteer
Harry Steinbergmann, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz? Schlimazel?"
Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.
Brooks will be appearing at Brooklyn's Francis Scott Key Junior High on
Nov. 12 to give an informal lecture about his experiences using the word
"schmuck," and build grassroots support among a key group of young
Americans by explaining that "schmuck" is a Yiddish term for the
foreskin on the head of a penis. In addition, he has hinted at the
possibility of a reunion with longtime comedy partner Gene Wilder,
during which the two will call each other schmucks.
Old Folks Auction
Taking a page out of the real estate book -- an auctioning off of people's dreams and hopes at prices designed to foster other folks' dreams and hopes, the Social Security Administration has decided to auction off pensioners.
"We could probably get a nice price for an old accountant or taxi cab driver," said the Secretary of Homeland Insecurity. "I think I myself might by a nanny for our kids, maybe a pool man -- but that might not work, too strenuous."
This is the Bush Administration's most adventurous proposal for the solution to the so-called social security crisis. It is, frankly, much more humane than other proposals previously discussed -- ice flows, compost heaps, etc.
"Let's see how this flies with the press," said a high level informant. "We might actually be able to save some on Medicare if we work them really hard. Mines might be good."
"We could probably get a nice price for an old accountant or taxi cab driver," said the Secretary of Homeland Insecurity. "I think I myself might by a nanny for our kids, maybe a pool man -- but that might not work, too strenuous."
This is the Bush Administration's most adventurous proposal for the solution to the so-called social security crisis. It is, frankly, much more humane than other proposals previously discussed -- ice flows, compost heaps, etc.
"Let's see how this flies with the press," said a high level informant. "We might actually be able to save some on Medicare if we work them really hard. Mines might be good."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
VDW March Called Off!
Squabbling Vets De-Rail March
Special from Reno
The newly formed Veterans of Domestic Wars broke into factions during an all night meeting to discuss possible compromises in the order of today's march. The League of Divorced Women sparred with the Abandoned Dads Association over position in the march. Children of Impossible Parents began to scream that they wanted to go first but they were drowned out by the new political marchers, the Veterans of Gassed Demonstrations, the Union of Hosed-Down Demonstrators and an assortment of neo-Nazi groups who demanded they be permitted to march.
"What will happen to our proposed memorial to the unknown lawyer?" said one disappointed divorcee. "They will be hung by their fucking thumbs!" replied an angry Dad With No Money. "Damn," said a long-haired old couple, "we miss the fucking Cold War, Lyndon Johnson, the Gulf of Tonkin! This is ridiculous!"
Special from Reno
The newly formed Veterans of Domestic Wars broke into factions during an all night meeting to discuss possible compromises in the order of today's march. The League of Divorced Women sparred with the Abandoned Dads Association over position in the march. Children of Impossible Parents began to scream that they wanted to go first but they were drowned out by the new political marchers, the Veterans of Gassed Demonstrations, the Union of Hosed-Down Demonstrators and an assortment of neo-Nazi groups who demanded they be permitted to march.
"What will happen to our proposed memorial to the unknown lawyer?" said one disappointed divorcee. "They will be hung by their fucking thumbs!" replied an angry Dad With No Money. "Damn," said a long-haired old couple, "we miss the fucking Cold War, Lyndon Johnson, the Gulf of Tonkin! This is ridiculous!"
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Heavy Metal
I met someone today who complained that her feet were heavy from lead and mercury, they had collected in her body fat over time and, now, when she wants to work out and lose weight, the lead is so heavy that she cannot do it.
I thought that there must be lead in my heart, it felt so heavy as I talked with her. And my heart will not burn: it has been fire-proofed with asbestos.
I thought that there must be lead in my heart, it felt so heavy as I talked with her. And my heart will not burn: it has been fire-proofed with asbestos.
US to become Semi-Autonomous Chinese Subsidiary?
Chinese Proposal: US will be semi-autonomous subsidiary
In a provocative column in The People's Daily, a high-level adviser to President Bush proposed that the US debt to China be re-structured, with bond-holders taking over ownership of the United States. The new company, USX (or ex-US as some have suggested), would have similar status to Hong Kong or Goa, with a certain degree of autonomy maintained, e.g., casinos would still be permitted. This solution to the debt crisis would also take away the veil that separates US foreign policy from that of the People's Republic. "After all," said one Chinese commentator, "we are paying for this damned war in the Middle East and we don't get a thing out of Halliburton and Blackwater!" The Chinese government is considering the proposal and will let the Bush Administration know its response in time for Thanksgiving dinner.
In a provocative column in The People's Daily, a high-level adviser to President Bush proposed that the US debt to China be re-structured, with bond-holders taking over ownership of the United States. The new company, USX (or ex-US as some have suggested), would have similar status to Hong Kong or Goa, with a certain degree of autonomy maintained, e.g., casinos would still be permitted. This solution to the debt crisis would also take away the veil that separates US foreign policy from that of the People's Republic. "After all," said one Chinese commentator, "we are paying for this damned war in the Middle East and we don't get a thing out of Halliburton and Blackwater!" The Chinese government is considering the proposal and will let the Bush Administration know its response in time for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Boston Sweeps Iraqis
Boston Sweeps Iraqis in Four!
Why is the Prez having such a hard time in the Middle East when the Boston Red Sox blew away the Iraqis in a four game sweep?!!!
Why is the Prez having such a hard time in the Middle East when the Boston Red Sox blew away the Iraqis in a four game sweep?!!!
Big Hole in New Mexico
Big Hole in New Mexico
Researchers from Tufts University confirmed this week the existence of a big hole in New Mexico. The hole is located in Carlsbad, not to be confused with Karlovy Bad, a European spa, and is the only thing worth visiting in the New Mexico town, where there is no spa.
There is a nuclear waste site near Carlsbad, as well as the Tufts discovery, and a hole in the ground associated with it, but that hole is being filled rapidly.
This Tufts hole was watched by various native Americans for centuries but not entered until a stupid young man (16 years old) descended into the hole using a homemade ladder.
Apparently, someone has introduced electric lighting, a not very well stocked restaurant, and rest rooms since the initial descent by 16-year-old White, and it is no longer necessary to travel down on a ladder, but the walk is arduous.
Various underground creatures have lodged complaints against the commercialization of their hole, but the Tufts researchers were especially pleased by the various tourist stuff available at the bottom.
In any case, gnomes are not citizens and have no rights.
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