Taking a page out of the real estate book -- an auctioning off of people's dreams and hopes at prices designed to foster other folks' dreams and hopes, the Social Security Administration has decided to auction off pensioners.
"We could probably get a nice price for an old accountant or taxi cab driver," said the Secretary of Homeland Insecurity. "I think I myself might by a nanny for our kids, maybe a pool man -- but that might not work, too strenuous."
This is the Bush Administration's most adventurous proposal for the solution to the so-called social security crisis. It is, frankly, much more humane than other proposals previously discussed -- ice flows, compost heaps, etc.
"Let's see how this flies with the press," said a high level informant. "We might actually be able to save some on Medicare if we work them really hard. Mines might be good."
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