Human Resources Day

How Will You Spend Human Resources Day?



The Bush Administration has decided that it’s time to bring “Labor Day” into the 21 Century.
The debate this weekend will be between those who want to rename the holiday “Human Resources Day” – and the Federal Department of Labor “Department of Flexibility” -- and those who believe that workers should have a few rights (maybe just one or two rights) in the new global economy. Republican Party ideologues are also suggesting the Department of Health and Human Services be re-baptized (sic) “Department of Social Capital”, while the Department of Education be re-christened (sic) “Department of Human Capital.” The proposal to eliminate the Federal Department of Justice has not received widespread acceptance, although there was some serious consideration of merging it with the Department of Homeland Security and the Supreme Court under an umbrella agency called “Heimat”. Administration officials were disappointed to discover that “Uber alles” did not translate into “overalls”, an historically interesting Human Resource Day image.

Labor Day was originally developed to counter the workers’ own May Day celebrations. Since global capital, multinational corporations, the Bush Administration and various puppet governments around the world have declared class war, it seemed unduly ironic to celebrate Labor Day this year. “We don’t appreciate irony or any other kind of heavy metal,” said the young Bush. “These days, workers have nothing to lose except their Cheneys.”