"Undersize Me!"

NIH Supports Nano-Deli Research

Laura Bush Inaugurates “Undersize Me!” Center

Raleigh: The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences
announced today a multi-million dollar research program to combat
obesity. “One of our first steps has been development of the nano-
corned beef sandwich at our Research Triangle facilties,” said the new
director of NIEHS.

The First Lady was on hand to pass out t-shirts and lapel buttons
in the Nancy Reagan Just-Say-No tradition – Undersize Me!
Mrs. Bush was as proud as punch! “Nano-research,” she said,
“is good for our boys in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Paraguay if
necessary.”

Scientists at NIEHS pointed out, “This is in line with our re-emphasis
on molecular research and away from support for environmental racism/
environmental justice translational research. Times have changed, and we
understand what will butter our nano-toast.”

“In the case of New Orleans,we have been sending very little,”
said a spokesperson for NIEHS. “Nano-food, nano-water,
whatever could be nano-ized. We consider the Katrina situation
one which has provided a natural experiment.”

One health disparities researcher at Louisiana State University
commented, “It’s true. Only rich white people are getting
fat around here.”