Roberts Says No!

Roberts Declines Top Spot

“It would be wrong!”


In an apparent fit of integrity, President Bush’s nominee
for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Bob Roberts,
announced at a Washington press conference that he would
decline the nomination.

“I am so young and inexperienced – and, without question,
ridiculously biased about all manner of legal issues. It would
be wrong of me to accept such an appointment in an era when
we need to come together.”

Vice President Cheney in a spontaneous outburst during
which he clutched his breast said that never once in
his life had he come together.

“This is about money, you asshole,” he said. “Do what you’re
told!”

The President was in the bathroom or in Texas and unable to
comment.