Healthy New Year Q&A

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is thistrue?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don'twaste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding upyour heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?Take a nap.________________________________

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay andcorn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended dailyallowance of vegetable products.________________________________

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get evenmore of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottomsup!________________________________

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.________________________________

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!________________________________

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables bebad for you?________________________________

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around themiddle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. Youshould only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.________________________________

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's thebest feel-good food around!________________________________

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.________________________________

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!________________________________


(Courtesy of the SOPHE listserv.)