Live from The Front

Live from Santiago: More news about the Coup

"Did you actually imagine that there would be no consequences?" asked the secret source of information. "I find it amazing that people of principle can attack others, destroy their careers and reputations, and then not understand that there may be consequences!"

This is the fourth day of siege of the presidential palace. Some people think that this is about ideology, others imagine it is about high principles. But the central issue, according to a highly informed secret informer, is the question of key to the men's room. "How can it any longer be a men's room if a woman is going to use it?" asked one idiot. "Isn't she just so ambitious and pushy?" asked another.

"I love academic politics!" said an even more undercover source. "It's about nothing, blood is spilled, and nobody even gets to ride the fire truck! What a pisser!"