New Center for Pipsqueak Lung

New NIH Center for Pipsqueak Lung Funded

Research Triangle, NC. Special to the HG&W


In an effort to ensure the irrelevance of epidemiological research for the health of American workers but at the same time to appear to be doing something useful, NIH has announced a new program for research on pipsqueak lung.

"We know that scientists have been trying really hard to find obscure subjects, rare diseases, minor chemicals effecting very few workers, but we feel it is really necessary to focus resources in this area," said Dr. Rudolph Mengele, head of the new Center for Pipsqueak Research. "It should no longer be necessary to engage in unethical corporate practices if we can support scientific work on truly obscure subjects that no one really cares about, except for the families of the particular dead people."

The National Association of Manufacturers applauded the new program. "Why all this fuss about backs and elbows? Why worry about work intensification and job stress? Absolutely, this is the way to go. Let the scientists find out stuff that nobody gives a shit about. Keeps them busy."