From our special correspondent in the South
The Fox-Murdock Principle*:
1. Things are only harmful if a pretty lady on the television says so.
2. A panel of experts has declared "experts" disagree on everything and are therefore irrelevant.
3. Even if something is harmful, only girlymen complain.
4. One more government regulation and the American economy will completely collapse.
5. You can't do anything about it anyway so why not grab yourself a Bud Light and enjoy tonight's episode of "Are You Smarter than a 5th-Grader?"
*Formerly known as the "Profit Principle"--until Murdock bought the rights and renamed it.
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