PROTEST NEW NIH PROGRAM
(From our special correspondent in Cambridge)
A new NIH program to develop organs from "scratch" was announced today, after several protests were lodged against the original statement which said the organs were to be developed from "snatch".
"I can't fucking believe that they said that!" said one commentator. "Well, they better change that one in a hurry!" said another while requesting anonymity.
Meanwhile, descendants of Wanda Landowska (or whatever) complained that organs has no business being involved with NIH. "The organ building business has been re-established in the formerly Communist countries after years of languishing under Stalinist rule. This is a blow to our efforts to re-establish classic industries in Central Europe! For the Americans to undermine us with scratch or snatch is unbelievable!"
A spokesperson for Duke University said that this program had nothing to do with the recent scandals involving Duke laboratories and NIEHS. "We make no organs here! And we have no intention to do so!" said the official announcement.
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